...
Nothing works. Sometimes I just don't sleep no matter what. My darling friends are up there sleeping along like good humans, and I'm down here mowed down by the silence, that gorgeous thickness of most excellent silence that not even sound can pierce. See. I can hear the ocean but it is subsumed by this cosmic silence and symphonies are blasting as I'm out on the darkened deck furniture and the trees tower around. The moonlight makes it all very distinct despite the nightness of absolutely everything and I'm lost in a language that finds never words.
I can't help it.
The love just keeps coming up and blasting out my pores and I don't think anyone really notices... almost as though I am in a different dimension and there's just my ghost here pestering everybody.
If I want I can tune in the hissing frequency noise in my ears when I'm in here, but soon as I go out there with a cigarette, it is engulfed by that soupy music everybody sleeps through and I can almost fly to them without getting up, tell them things they really need to know kind of know as opposed to only agree has to be the case.
I try emailing it sometimes. Doesn't work. I mean I actually make something of a meatspace effort to convey it but it needs to go through hyperspace and they are puzzled by it if they notice it, but usually they don't.
always and any time....
