...
Unless you are just too honest to choke it down anymore.
This will do for now about bringing you the miracle at the Secret Space Conference, Jon Rappoport. By the time he got up there to speak I was so stoned on fundamental reality that it went in one ear, rang all my bells, dropped me back into my cosmos of little girl kissing everybody, out the other, leaving me in a dizzyingly positive state of no mind, and without much of a clue how to articulate it to you.
As I've said, there were a couple sour notes on Saturday, that absolutely did not manage to dampen the wonderfulness of the whole thing, that day, or over the course of the whole conference, but everything else was so inspiring and illuminating that our minds were reeling from the flow of genuine, core, heart level communication of motive truth. Seriously, smacked down by a freight train that started somewhere parsecs off in the cosmos and we cannot ever see its end... rolls over us like these rose petals filling our tubs.
I had been at the point of forgetting my physical coordinates already... since Friday... since, actually, a couple weeks before, but deepening steeply in chunks and about complete by the Friday before the conference. So when Jon got up there on Sunday, in his forties noir film star suit and moccasins, had them bring up the lights, started padding around up there, muttering absurdly real things to us, rose petals slipping lusciously all over my most naked self, I could only remember being profoundly pleased by whatever it was he was saying.
I remembered he was saying things shaped like rose petals. I remembered him saying things that went in where the I can't monitor it and being very, very pleased about it. That's all. Each rose petal shaped utterance was beyond my recall before the next one came out. I started to kiss and hug him again later, not remembering that I'd just run up to him the moment he got off the stage and done it, feeling over and over in waves that I needed to do that, not enough of my regular walking around consciousness to keep track from minute to minute by then.
This is absolutely of the character of fundamental reality. You can't monitor it. You need all kinds of practice to keep it in some reasonable sync with the people milling about you, and if you don't have enough of that, a lot of people are going to wonder if you have not had a little stroke or something that explains why someone so ordinarily weird-but-lucid is suddenly sounding completely 'round the bend, unaware she is repeating herself, unable to answer really easy questions and unable to observe completely normal habits of interaction.
This was not pure samadhi — I'm certain because bodily complaints could make themselves heard in it — albeit too dimly to interrupt very seriously — and there were moments when I was definitely aware of having weight — because we were in a crowd and there were all kinds of logistical matters needing to be navigated successfully, but that was all that kept us off the mountainside covered with pure non-duality singing oceans of jewel-encrusted flower ornaments out across the reaches of eternity. So I could hear that, and hope to be reminded of what I knew had come in my external ears, but couldn't discuss, despite being nearly familiar enough with most of it to have finished sentences for the speakers, later.
I am aware of how weird this sounds, but I'm trying to tell you the truth.
I know I did manage to say to the people involved in the whole thing that this was maybe more important than any of the rest of it. I couldn't come up with any word more illustrative than "energy" to use when reminding them of this element that must not be lost. I mean, there's no maybe about it, but when speaking of it "maybe" is polite to use. We could have, I suppose, just stood up and started reciting recipes to each other with that energy there and come away that much more powerful. The energy, the mountainside of buddhas singing, the presence of no time, no start, no finish, no then, no there, no question, and 100% pure spiritual involvement, is the indispensable part.
And Jon had gotten up and put the way to this in plain English.
Thrilling.
Maybe you had to be there, if you respond to it like some of the jackasses leaving comments on Bonnie's post, or maybe you are honest enough to take the help and not have to put up your dukes.
always and any time....
