...
Have you the courage to deeply listen?
See, you can get towed under by your terror. They're banking on that. Or you can recognize the beauty, the grandeur, the unspeakable perfection of life, the universe and everything, proceed according to that instead. Despite everything. Despite that we have no right to budge from here if we cannot live for its benefit, if we cannot prefer death over killing, cannot risk ourselves to protect those being killed, we have to see the gorgeous part even in the midst of the terror or we cannot do what we are here for, cannot do that which cannot be put into words and Buddhists call "saving all sentient beings".
Even if the doomsayers are right, we cannot do that.
Everything in our whole lives, since birth, has been about only this. Little wonder psychopaths would work so hard to obfuscate that. If they can't keep that hidden from you, they can't be in charge. They'll melt like flakes of frozen bile if we ever finally pay attention to what the cosmos is screaming at us.
I have had a most amazing evening — a big giddy surprise and a mountain of app aggravation all rolled into one — and so this was extremely good for me to hear just now. Brought me back to zero. I'm going to be going to that conference this summer after all. I'm not sure how it will play out yet, but will be letting you know when things start to take shape, but I wanted to warn you before I start freaking out about finding secret ways to rig the lottery or asking for good connections to reliable bank robbers or stooping to whining about that wealthy gentleman you've yet to introduce me to....
You know, heck, even though I've finally trained everyone to stop asking me to housesit for them, maybe I can train one to go on vacation just before the conference or just after it... leaving me enough food so I can spend my grocery money on catching up with my budget again. Maybe one of those Hollywood types who ripped things from one of my manuscripts will suddenly be seized by conscience and send me a check. Maybe Jesse will start searching for the woman who gave him that line! Maybe 86 will finally sell one of his gorgeous pieces and remember I told him so. You just never can tell.
Nope. Seriously.
