...
Let me know if you can get through it. Buncha lame-ass nitwits whose inability to actually think drives me too nuts to keep listening every goddam time I try. Stupid fucks. Posturing stupid fucks.
...
At this very moment it is raining cats and dogs and thunder is rolling around like a steel ball in a batter bowl. It's noisy as fuck out there... but I'm very, very happy about the downpour.... Maybe my corner of California won't burn down this year.
...
Sometime much later....
I seem to be in a long hard patch of shit happens. My plumbing is going nuts on me again before I've even dug out from the expense of a new hot water heater. And my tooth. And my general state of health. Goddammit. This afternoon my kitchen faucet turned into a geyser on me right in the middle of doing the dishes. I managed to muscle it back into a really feeble form of submission, but it's going to blow again the minute I forget and turn the tap on full.
A garden hose nozzle suddenly turned up smashed. The toilet in the front bedroom blew its mechanism. The mud room has itself turned into mud and needs to be ripped up and rebuilt and the fucker who's supposed to be doing it is being a total flake... and now there's more hundreds trying to pile on top of the too many hundreds I already don't have.
So you might imagine my state when the geyser struck me in the kisser.
Then when I ran off to the store and the post office, trying to just blow off steam, promising myself I'd just dunk my head in the ocean if I could not see my way clear to dropping all this shit like a nice Zen dudette, I ended up running into a fucker I wish would just move away with his young thing and stop pissing me off so much. I forced myself to be civil, and that always raises my blood pressure. I was just on the point of leaping naked off a cliff into the Pacific, when suddenly something in me just said, "Aw, fuck it," and I turned this total bullshit interview travesty back on and endured it. Human stupidity really, really gets to me sometimes. It's that need to become the Omnipotent Bowler who can knock down all those pins with one cosmic roll.
Then I ran off to a friend's site to read an article I'd been avoiding so as not to go postal. I did not go postal. He's wrong, but I just let him be wrong. At least he's grappling with it, thinks me. Now I have to go run off after even more infuriating things to prove to my sissy system it can just fucking well be buried under whole mountain ranges of this stuff and if I die, I die. Tough shit. I mean, I can't fix the world if I can't fix my fucking faucet, now can I? If I let each clod of mountain range, or the whole range and its cousins, thwart me, I might as well just give in and declare myself too feeble to share air with living things.
Not. Going. To. Happen.
.
