you couldn't have handled this for me while i was away, i guess

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...

Driving home through my forests of grampas today, it occurred to me that each of us should get a length of hollow bamboo, maybe two inches in diameter, with which we bop riot cops upside their helmets, and scream, ARREST YOUR BOSSES! YOU WILL KEEP GETTING PAID. We must resolve to keep throwing them in jail until there aren't any more of them left. WE can keep the world running beautifully without them. The cops are us. The ONLY thing that keeps them working for the bad guys is the need to keep food on their families. MAKE SURE THEIR FAMILIES ARE FED, and get them arresting the right people.

EVERYTHING depends on it.
.