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I go off down into the world of people who live within the expected parameters, people who get up and go to work, or get up and make breakfast, or get up with plenty of time to make whatever transaction while it's still normal business hours, and I am forced somehow, by proximity, to do something loosely similar. I get up, or appear to, and have my coffee and try to drill myself on the steps involved in getting through the day ahead of me. Very soon it becomes less like life and more like something locked in a deep cave. I start noticing the blankness of my face on the world. I start noticing this muddled incarnation of Zen, where I do not cling, nor do I push away, but there isn't any mindfulness about it, no freedom, or if there is I'm too out-of-it to notice. See. The thing is. Even if you can get my body to approximate being normal. Even if it seems as though I ought to have had enough sleep. I haven't gotten ANY of the good sleep, the Phase Four and REM, and the longer we continue this charade, the dimmer I become.
Medical professionals have scoffed at the notion of catching up on one's sleep. They insist that once it's missed, it's gone forever. I don't know why I then start sleeping in just about exactly the same amount of lost sleep as I've lost and don't really wake up again until that's all settled, accounts squared. My body doesn't seem to just do the right sleep at the expected times or in the expected proportions or in the expected sequences. The theory of my off world origins has been put forth many times and it is the only one that makes sense.
The harmonics of this world clash with the harmonics of my other world body and the answer to the great riddle of my sleep "patterns" lies in the interference waves kicked up by the clashing of those distinct frequencies. I'm on the wrong planet. It is plain as the nose on your face.
I had myself one spectacular evening nap last night. I think it was about four hours long. And then I went to bed early and slept another nearly twelve hours. I feel definitely precisely as though I'm catching up on stuff I've missed.
At this moment I feel distinctly as though alertness is alert in here just about one more cup of coffee from the surface.
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